THE WURST KAZEE FIVE FNAFICTION EVAR!!!1!

By Alex Fauth,
aided by Telstra Bigpond Cable Customers,
absolutely not inspired by Big Big Truck's Teh Best Worst Beeebop Fnafiction EVAR

Sandra: Hmm... this looks promising.
Aoi: Defintely.

Authors Note; THis is my Kazei five fnafiction! Its a very very kewl show and i thourt it would be kewl to writew a fnafiction about the shoe and the charactors in it! I don;t own eny oif the characterrs in it but I wish I did! Then I;'d havel ots of money and i could buy anything I want! LOL ROFL! Kazea five is copyright Hero games and some other popeel. This fanfdiction is copyright to me who is megawaykewlestanimefanevar33@idiotzombiekidfanboy.com

Gem was coming home from werking for shion (she had been flying aorund the world and htye wenr to Honk Gong to fithght the bad cyberdrid thing that Drakes company built. you knopw the sposde I am thinking of) and she was coming ome to see her gurlfriend Kami in there new house. "I am so lucky" she thort. 'coz I have a lover who loves me so much and I lov them." What she actual;ly meant ewas 'we're gonna have olts of hot steamy ESX tomite!" (LOL!)

Kami: That's the girl I love.

But when she come i nthe dore the whole place is coverdc in BLOOD! And Angle was there and she wax holding Kamy by the throt and laffing and gem said "OMG what is going on here?" And angle lafed and said "I am gonna kill you for taking her frum me and then I ma gouing to maker you pay!" and gem sid "but where are April and keiko and april at?" And angle said "I killed them for trying to fite me!" and laffed again.

Aoi: And Gem said "What the hell is this crap?"

And then she fired a psychik enery blast at gem and threw her out the windowc ehrree she fell and landed and broker her arm. "Ouchu!"

Aoi: "Ouchu" is right.

"I have to beet her!" She sayed. "But who can helf me?" but then she fell unconshus.

*-*-*

In teh Zone, Sandra nads Dave were running form Jinsay's soldiers and Sandra was firing her gun and doing all kewl gun fighing stuffl ike running with a gnu in each hyand and leaping through windows sidwewaysa and stuff liek that. They werre very tried bu they were still running bcoz they didn';t want to be captyred by the Jinsay soldiers.

Sandra: And the award for statement of the bleeding obvious goes to...

"How much further do we have to run" Dave asked coz he was tuired

Aoi: [David] Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?
Sandra: That's not funny.

"Not too much further" Ssndra shouted. "Wew're all most oiut of the ZOne. ands once we'rte out we can be save coz we're free and away fron Jinseay troops."

Sandra: I am so dead.

Then a whole bunch of Jinsae soldiers came out and fired at them and there was bullets flying evertywhere and snadra fired her gnus at them and one fired ad david BUT she lepaed in frunt of the bullet in slow-motion like the maitrix (kewl!) and got hit!

Sandra: Told you.

David looked at her as she lied on the floor bleeding and shouted 'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" and then he picked cup her gnu and fired at the Ginsei slodioers and shot them all and thye died!

Sandra: Just when did David become so heroic and butch?
Aoi: Not that you mind.
Sandra: Well, yeah...

Then he went over to Sandra who was lying bleeding on the lfoor and ding! "Are you ok?" she asked and she said "No, i think they got me bad." and then he began to cry and said "i'm so sorry I gopt you into all tyhis and you're only lyiung here coz its all my fault." and she said "its ok because i got hurt prtotecting you coz i love you david" (Awwwwww!) and then tthey kissed.

Sandra: And while I'm dying and coughing up blood and all...

Then david said "I will not let you die" and he picked her up and put her on her back ."I'm gonna get you to a doctore so you can live and then we can be togehter." So he carried her off to see Dr Snake and on the way he found Gem in the alleasy when she had fell out the window.

Aoi: Remind me, didn't Snake vanish about a year ago?

He woke her up and asked 'what happened?" And she said "It is Angle she has gone mad and she blew me up and I broke my arm i need helf."

Aoi: I got capaulted out my window, across the river, into the Zone and I broke my arm? I am tough!
Sandra: You get that much practice at getting killed, I guess. Hey Dave! Forget her! I'm busy expiring all over your back!

So he took her to the doctors as well. "Why are jinsay attacking us he asked."

~~~~~

In the Jinsay head orfice Angle was sitting in the boss's chair she had taken over the company. Kami wasi n a chair and she was tierded to it and the boss's head was lying on the table where it had fallen (Yuk!) and there were destroyed cyberdroids everywhere. "Why are you foing all this?" Kammi asked 'It is to get germ for staling you from me so we can be together froever she sayed." then preswsed a button on her HUGE desk. A door opened iand some SHADOWY FIGURES came in!

Kami: Kinky.

"I want you to go out and kill Gem for me and then take over all teh other companies so i can take over the world" shge saued and then laughed eavily. And one of the shadowy figures stepped forward... it wasd Nicole! "I will kill her for oyu boss because she tried to kill me too many times now!" And she also laughed evily. (Nicole is SOOO Evil! She tried to kill her sister!)

Aoi: ...
Sandra: I wonder who the other underlings are.
Aoi: Hope we never find out.

*****

At hte Doctors Gem and Sandra were getting healed form getting hurt and htye wrere both OK now and David was there also and he said "I meant what I said to you sandra. I really really love you and I do want to be with you forwe evar" And htye kieesed again (Awwwwwww!)

Sandra: And Gem promptly heaved her guts out.

And Snakeye came in and said u are both veyr lucky you got hurt bad but your all ok now.

Aoi: I guess broken arms and bullet wounds heal quick.
Sandra: And Snakeye gets his appearance fee.

And then sudden;ly the door exploreded in and in came Nicole and she was carrying a hUGE gun and a HUGE sowrd and she sayed 'now u r gonna die Gem" and poulled out the gu nand statrted shooting ag Gem and tghey fought and Gem dicked behind the bed and got her own gun out and shot at Rachel and sjhot the gun oput of rachel's hand! And Rachel shouted "ouch" and screamed ion pain. "I'm gonna get u for that Gem!" she said and p[uleld ou her HUGE sqword and it glowed with Power! "This is my Powerd sword!" She sayed ."u r gonna die now!" (SCAREY!)

Aoi: Hmm... my not so evil twin sister has just turned into my evil split personality, who is now trying to kill me.
Sandra: You have issues.

But Gem pulled out her own swored and they fough across the room and Rachges sword is os powerful that it cuts through the furiuture and the walls and EVERYTHING like iots not there! It is o piwerful

Sandra: By the way, it's powerful.

And Gem goit hitin her hutrt arm and dropped her swored. Rachel laughed eavily (She is SO WEVIL!) and said 'Now uy r gonna die for all u did 2 me Gem!)

Sandra: And I'm doing... WHAT during all this?
Aoi: Wondering where the weevil came from.

Then suddenly Shoko comews in and says "You don't mess with my freidns, you foo!" And she punched Rachel and she few across the room and smashed throiugh the wall and died and said "Aaaargh!". Sjoko ran ovwer to Gem and askerd are u ok?" And gem sayed 'I'm ok, i'm vbery tough" and Shoko sauyed "Yeah, you get into so much trouble" and htye both laughed (LOL!)

Aoi: Hah, it's funny because I'm dead.

-----

Angle was veyr angry that Rachel had dyed. "She fialed me! Gem must me more powerful then I thourt!" Sjhe slammed her fist on the desk. "Now I send my secret weapons to get her!" Then the figured steppedo ut of the shadows., It was Matt and Lillith who were wearing black leathers and sunglassed (I kno they died but they cloned new ones coz they're clones) and they looked so evil.

Sandra: Lilith and Matt are... GENERIC BADARSES!

"You kno what u 2 r 2 do!" Angle shouted. "u r to kill Gem and tyhen take over all the companys in the wurld so then i cvan rule the world and be all powerfuyl! BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Sandra: Additional dialogue by Dr. Evil.

=====

In the zone all hte buildings and stuff began exploding as Gem and Sandra asn David and Shoko all rand outside and they saw Lillilth and Matt desotryinering everyhting with therp sychic powers. All the buildings and stuff werwe blowing up and they where lughing as thye did it cs they're so evil and Sandra sayed "It's Matt! He came back to life!"

Sandra: He's always doing this to me.

They fired there gnus at them but the bullets all bounced off and there was no effect! "OMG" Gem Shouteed "We can't stop them! we r all gonna die!" Shoko hit gem on the head.

Aoi: Given this fic so far, that should kill me.

"Remember who is your boos! u should call her!" She shouited going all SD and angry with a HUGE Mouth! (KAWAI!) anmd Gem then said "oh yeah, i feel so styupid! LOL!" so she got her fone and called Shiom. "Hey Shion i need your help coz Lilith and Mattt have come bak 2 lifew and are trying to kill me ansd htye are blowing up all of the Zone and killing everyhone!"

"OMGWTF!" Shion shouted.

Aoi: I just can't see Shion saying that.

"I'll be therei n a sec. I got 2 get someone."
_____

Raven and lora were watching the tv when Shion teleported int ot their lindge room and stood on the table and lora said 'hey down in frunt!" (lol... she is so tall)) but shion said "get onff your butt and i need your help" and raven sayed what is it? ansd Shion said "Matt and Lillity are bak and htey are destorying teh zone and everyone in it."

Shion: Including my combination pool cleaner/drinks waiter/chauffeur.
Aoi: When did you get here?

And Reven went "OMG Lolth is alive?!" and Shionb said "They made a nerwe one and she is cvery very every evil she just blew up half the zone you know."

Sandra: Makes you wonder why Ran hasn't noticed all this.
Aoi: At the moment he thinks he's a flowerpot.
Shion: At the moment, the author thinks he's a flowerpot.

Let's go then" Lora said. "We must spot them before asnyone gets hurt."

Sandra: Zone residents don't count as people, obviously.
Aoi: Maybe they've just been blowing up the Synths.

Shion and Raven and lora telephoned away and arrived in the ZOne where Matt and Lililith were blowing stuff up; and Shion had her sword and her harconen cannon and lora had a harconen cannon too and raven had a bog sword and they looked vbyer mean and very angry and very beautiful when they are mean and angry (ROFLOLSMOMN!) and then Shopn said "they r so dead" and theo hters went yes and Shion took off to fight Matt and Raven took off to fight lilligh

Sandra: Lora joined the rest of the cast for some tea and scones.
Aoi: Say, where is Snakeye anyway?
Sandra: He got while the going was good.
Shion: I hate it when someone turns up carrying the same huge gun as me.

Shion and matt fought and it was all kewl and DBZ sytle with enfgergy flyiung evertwhere ands they puched each other at super pseed and going sdo farst the nobody was farst enough to see. Shion sayed "i beat yopu once" and Matt sayed "they made me again and htis time I am stronger" and then he punched her and she went shtright through a building and it fell on her and blew up.

Shion: Remind me, precisely when did I fight this "Matt" character?
Sandra: Oh, it was the episode when David saved my life, Gem's sister became her split personality, Dr. Snakeye made a random cameo, and and the audience walked out.

He laughed andf then got blasted woith a hole straight through him and he looked down and he could see his guts hanging out (YEwwwwwww!)

Sandra: "Ouchu."
Aoi: That would be an understatement.

and Suion came out from the building with her cannon smorking and said "i havbe a bigger gun" and matt fell to the ground and exploraded and died.

Sandra: Didn't I read all this in "World's Worst K5PBEM Cliches?"

Raven was fighting lilo

Aoi: There's a mental image that will haunt me for the rest of my days.

and they were flying everywhewre and firing energy blasts at eacvh other and they were tearign up evereything around them coz they were so poweerful and it was all kewl and stuff.

Aoi: Throw in some reffs from volume 4 of Akira. Odds on nobody will notice.

And raven aayed "I don';t want to hurt you" amd Lilitk said "you havce to coz I'm evil now. if you act all woosy I'll kill you" and then Raven dried and said "iy's so unfair" and ran Lilityh through with her swored and she died and Raven cried some more. (She cries so much! If she's that powrful she should be a badaxx)

-_-_-

Angle was very very angry coz everyone had been beaten and she was furious and smashed the desk in ha;f wioth her bare hand (She's so powerful!) and sayed "I will have to do everythign myself! I should never have trust my ulderlings to do enythi ng even tho they are so powerful and evil but i am more poweerful and evil."

Sandra: And the one who is fighting them is me, Mojojojo.

And she flew out of the buiiulding andf over to the zone and she startted blowing stuff up and wrecking buiuldings and killing everyhting up and stuff and attacked Shion and Raven and they statred fighting. Even tho there was two of them and one of her, angle was more powerrfuyl!

Aoi: But Lora...
Sandra: Thinking bad.

She asaid "I used Jimseis scientist to make me more powerful so I coul;d take over the wiorld and now u wanot stop me!" and she threw them off and Raven fell dowen and hit her head and went "oof" and Shion flew away and tried shooting her with the harkonen cannon but the buillet bounced off and she laffed ands went "you can';t beat me now" and then derstroyed a few more buildings

Sandra: And kicked a puppy

and then blasted shion and she fell down.

Aoi: Wasn't this fic about me before?
Sandra: Do you really want to be the star?
Aoi: I'll shut up now.

But shion grinned and sayed "yopu underestimate me, i asm more poweerful then you can imagine" and she began summoning all her super inner energy form her years of training and went "ooooooooooooooohhhhhh" and GLOWED WITH BLUE ENERGY! (OMG! Tht is SOOOO KEWL!) and then she concentrated all of her ewnergy into her hand and flew forwared and hit Angle ands she went fluying!

Sandra: WA-TAK!
Aoi: Say what?

And she few into the Jinsei townerr and it fell down and it crashed and exploded intoi flames!

Kami: But...

And then ewveryone cheered for the threat was ovber and they were SAFE once more!

Kami: But...

Then Shioon landered and said "she was powerful and the best fight i have had in years" and then she laufghed and they all laughed and went off to have a party!

Kami: But...
Sandra: it could be worse. You could still be in it.

TEH EDN!

I hop u likked my fnafixction! K5 is sooooooooooooo kewl and i think my sotry is pretty kel 2! :-) please please sned me reviews!

Sandra: Ask and ye shall receive.
Gem: Let us never, ever do this again.
Sandra: Oh look, there's a crossover section over here...


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