Journal Entry Dated 02-20-23

When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things.
1 Corinthians 13:11
New American Standard Bible

When I became a man, I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
C.S. Lewis

I have never been a child.

The same goes for many Clades. Almost all of us, especially those who are made for the arena, are decanted in a form physically similar to human adulthood. Mentally, emotionally, we might be like children, but physically we are adults. I have thought about that, and am almost glad that is the case. I am strong and agile, while the average child seems weak and clumsy. I do not think I would enjoy being something weaker and less capable than myself.

Of course, children do grow up over time, and I think that is the fascination with them. A Clade is a Clade, made to order, with all physical and mental capabilities decided before hand. But a human child? Most are still the result of random genetic mixing, even if there is the trend for genetic augmentation among the wealthy. Thus, you can never be sure what you are going to get or what the child will become. I presume this is the fascination with them.

But I was never a child. I was never a mystery to my parents, as I never had any. I was created for a sole purpose—to be a warrior in the arena. Angie does not have any parents either. No one to watch her grow up and become an adult. She is a mystery—to me and to the world. What sort of person will she be? I would like to know. I think I will visit her again, to watch her grow and develop. Even if I cannot be a mother to her, I can be a friend.

Officer Chrysine, XSWAT